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Friday, April 17, 2020

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN4

The gospel according to St. Sense
Mara ihe this 2020, that is all I can say
Don't be unfortunate please🙏

TAKE EVERY TALE...🤷‍♀️


Hanty, shey you know that that thing ọ na-agwaị i ji apịa ntị n'anị, na ọ bụrọ sọị ka ọ na-agwịa? Don't look at me laidat! Ihe m na-ekwu doro m anya.

Ọ gwagokwa m ya, ka m gwakwaị; and I was still wondering what it was about me,  a total stranger, that made him spill his guts at me that fast, when I heard a familiar voice telling the same line of tale. I looked and it was him, dishing out the same saga to this lady, and the other, the other, and then you. Then I realized that it's a pattern: he tells this tale of woe to every ear that cares to listen, especially the féminine ones. Maybe that's his own way of dealing with the hurt that he's 'supposedly' going through but that is not why I'm here...

It is a sign of ill omen that someone who meets you for the first time tries to win your affection by trying to get you to sympathize with them: poor victims in their well-scripted woebegone tales of crashed and burnt relationships. Okay, maybe you think that there's something about you that make people let you in on their secrets and you just might be right. But is that the same thing about her, and her, and the other her? Girl, you should be very scared! 

No one is ever convicted when they judge their own case. Ma mụ, ma gị, ma mmadụ. Therefore, take every tale with a pinch of salt. In fact, there are some outright outrageous ones that you need to take with a whole sachet of Uncle Palm Maka ndụ gị. Just saying...

Nah, I'm not just saying. Listen to me carefully! Until you hear the other party's side of the story  do not believe everything they tell you. Listen if you have to. Actually, the art of listening is a very important virtue, so listen very attentively if you've got time and pay careful attention to every detail. Most when you do, you'll find two or more that don't add up... But even when they all seem to add up and you have to get fully into the listener character and drop all the:
"Ah-ah!" 
"Oh my God!" 
"Oh no she didn't!" 
"What's wrong with her?" 
"Why would she do that?" 
at intervals cos it won't really seem like you're following the story without those, be very sure that that is where your seeming belief ends. And if you're sure you have strength for the beef that might ensue, by all means, school his blackmailing ass! Don't go and start harboring nonsense in your heart for a person whose name you only heard in a frigging tale!! 

Igbo nna m sị na onye ma ihe anaghị agwọ ofe. And one of the dumbest instances of ịgwọ ofe bụ gịnwa iburu mmadụ ị na-amarọ, ị na-afụnubeghị, gị na ya na-emekọnubeghị ihe iwe n'obi maka na e nyere ya role 'osochiegbu' n'akụkọ ị nụrụ. Hanty biko mal'ife na ị togo. 

Ị ma na agwọ otu onye hụrụ na-aghọ eke? Give it time!! So he managed to assign the role of the angel to himself as naturally he's wont to and you swallow everything hook line and sinker because? Come on now, that's like filling in Pete Edochie as a Nigerian minister in a 2005 current affairs question because he played a similar role in a movie that you watched. Eh Hanty? Ọọ mgbe e ji sensị gị ṅụọ garri ka ị ga-amatazị ife?? 

Onye nọrụka, ọ fụrụka. Until I ruo ebe nwaanyị ibe gị ruu, fụ ife ọ fụụ, adịla ngwa ịma ya ikpe based on ihe ị nụrụ n'akụkọ. Take every tale with a pinch of salt, maka na onye a na-agbara ama ọ na-egori, onye a na-ebo ebubo ọ kwetala? 

Ka ọ ragodu m nọọfụ biko
Ka m kwufọ nke m ga-ekwu echi
Daalụkwanụ🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

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